21 Comments to Motivate Your Worship Team (to Quit)
By Jon Nicol
As worship leaders, we have countless moments when what we WANT to say to a team member is absolutely what we should NOT say.
So while we bite our tongue, take thoughts captive and count to 10 silently before speaking, I'm going to say what we've all thought (and maybe even blurted out in our weaker moments). And if you really want to frustrate, belittle or downright hork-off your team, feel free to use these following statements to...
...develop great musicianship:
"So…exactly what key were you in during that song?"
"You say you're self-taught? It shows."
"You do realize we're suppose to all play in the same time signature, right?"
...ensure smooth sound checks:
"Oh, you need more of your voice in the monitor? Do really think that's going to help?"
...encourage excellent platform presence:
"Not sure if you heard–it's now legal in our state to look somewhere besides your music stand."
"Next time you fist-pump or pogo-stick jump, consider doing it in time to the music."
"Did you hear the news? They just added joy to the fruit of the Spirit. Care to try some?"
...speak truth to the auditioning musician:
"You know the student ministry needs someone to drive the van."
...admonish the drummer with less than steady tempo:
"So, did your Ritalin wear off during that song."
"I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine. His name is Metronome."
...ascertain vocal problems:
"So you're saying your voice issues this morning are due to dairy. Did you eat a cheese wheel for breakfast?"
"Killer vibrato. By any chance, do you raise mountain goats?"
...rein in a keyboard player:
"Wow. You overplay better than anyone I know."
"Do your fingers get sore...since you're using all ten of them all the time?"
"The bass player would like to express his deep appreciation for you playing his part for him."
...develop the guitarist:
"Frets 5 - 15 called. They want you to play up on them sometime."
"Yeah, why don't you add some delay to that song. I'm sure it can't get worse."
…motivate them to practice:
"Wow. So is this the first time you've pulled your instrument out of the case this week?"
"I'm sure God is OK with your mediocre efforts. You know, since He didn't really do that much for you."
"You're right, 'Worship is NOT about us.' But I didn't realize that was rationale NOT to practice."
"Sure, you can skip rehearsal. You'll forget everything we work on by Sunday morning anyway."
Wrapping up:
To those of you who don't have thoughts like this rise up - you are blessed. Please pray for the rest of us. Sarcasm is verbal nicotine: easy to start, tough to quit.
So let's make a pact together: To stop and breath deeply. To pray for strength to hold our tongues. And to speak only when we're sure the truth will be tempered in kindness.
In the comment section, I'd like to hear one or more things from you:
1) First, therapy: What are some comments that you've had to quash before they entered the atmosphere outside your brain? Go ahead, get them out...and use a fake name if you need to.
2) What are some ways you work at curbing sarcasm on your team?
3) For you team members - what comments have you been tempted to say to your worship leader? Here's a couple to get you started:
"You forgot to pray before we start. Don't you think you need it?"
"I don't know why we rehearse. You change everything during worship anyway."
August 8, 2012
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